I just witnessed one of the most interesting conversations today at Mc Donalds. (Yes, I still eat there, even after reading Fast Food Nation!) It all started when this 60-year-old man with a red face, red Polo-like shirt, a receding hairline and a potbelly approached this girl in Mc Donalds eating her lunch.
The man (I didn’t get his name, but I will call him George) said to the young lady “Hi, how are you doing today?” This obviously seemed innocent enough so she replied, “Oh its great, its Friday and I am doing fine, how are you?”
This was her big mistake, she opened up the conversation. George then said that he was doing fine and began telling the girl that he was having a wonderful day and was providing her with ALL the details. I began to drift off at this point, but I was soon drawn back by George’s story. I looked over at George who was staring intently at the girl and rubbing his stomach, the way a hungry man would act staring at a juicy New York strip.
He began to tell the girl “I am not old, you know. I’m a year away from retirement you see.” The girl then nodded and said “uh huh”. George went on to say “You see, I am visiting an old folks home now. It is filled with old people and has this guy name Homer.” George then went on and said “You see Homer is old and Homer plays pool with me. He will play and get all the balls in the right pockets and he will say ‘Did I win?’ I would then say ‘Yes homer, you won.’ Homer is funny that way.”
George then began to chorttle. I could tell that the girl was trying to end the conversation at this point, but George would not stop speaking. Eventually a friend of the girl came along and sat down at the table. I think George finally figured out that his conversation with the first girl was going nowhere, so he turned to the new girl and asked her “Do you like to think about things?” He paused for a moment, probably thinking about something. The new girl was obviously trying to think about a quick response to get rid of George but he began talking again.
“Lately I have been thinking about religion. Do you ever wonder why there are so many religions in the world?” The second girl was obviously a little less patient and said, “No, I don’t” At this point I could tell that George was about to tell her something profound. His face began to scrunch up like he was constipated.
He began to open his mouth but a young girl who was working at Mc Donalds interrupted him. She said to the second girl “I am sorry that this took so long,” apologetically and then handed her a chicken sandwich. George was instantly drawn to this new beauty. The girl was beginning to walk away but George followed her and said, “Excuse me miss.” The girl responded politely, “Yes?” George then went on and said, “Would you like to come with me to see my camper? Its my new ’85 camper parked behind Fry’s. It has a range and a shower.”
George then began to get very excited. He finally found someone to bring home with him. The Mc Donalds girl responded softly “Oh yes, I would, but you will have to wait until I go on break.” George began to to look worried at this point and said, “It’s not here right now, but I can go get it. Are you working tomorrow? I can always come get you then.”
The Mc Donalds girl responded “Oh yes, I will be here tomorrow.” She then began to nod her head enthusiastically. At this point George began walking towards the exit. He said “Oh great, I will come get you sometime tomorrow.” I was imagining that he would walk across the street to go to Fry’s, but he had other plans. He walked up to a white mini van filled with boxes and clothes, opened the door and drove away. I saw a lovely plaid jacket swinging in the back window as he puttered towards El Camino. At this point I was thinking to myself “The Mc Donalds girl will surly be disappointed tomorrow. There isn’t a shower and a bed in that thing.”